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Never Start with An Apology

Eleanor Beaton

I have a brilliant acquaintance who, despite her advanced degrees and track record, never fails to begin an interaction with some version of an apology.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“I haven’t had time to review this but…”
“I’m not an expert in this area however….”

I cringe each time I hear her.

Beginning with an apology is, in body language terms, very similar to walking into a room carrying a giant placard that says,


I’m not saying you should never apologize. (I’m Canadian, to encourage a ban on apologies would be treason).

I’m simply saying: never start an interaction with an apology.

While this seems like it would be simple to execute, it’s not.

In order to never apologize you need to:

Be in integrity. If you don’t want to apologize for being late…you must show up on time.

Be present. If apologizing for being alive is a habit, you’ll need to be fully, 100% present in your interactions to avoid an inadvertent apology.

Be bold. I notice that the more I coach women to step into their power as compelling leaders and visionaries, the stronger becomes the subconscious urge to apologize for their newfound power.

This week, pay attention to how often you start an interaction with 1, 2, 3 apologies. Imagine each apology as a placard proclaiming your insecurity. This habit makes it MUCH easier to put the placard down. When you feel the urge to apologize, fasten your lips together and offer a moment of silence instead.

Keep that power to yourself.